Doh!

I was checking out the news and found this. 

It seems this man, Timothy Elliott bought a $10 lottery ticket in Hyannis, and won $1 million.  Pretty cool right?  Well, it turns out, Timothy committed and was caught for unarmed robbery back in 2006.  His sentence included not gambling of any kind, including playing lotto, for the next 5 years.  So there’s a big chance Tim is not going to be able to keep his 1 mil.  I think people around the net who’s read the story are doing a collective forehead slap “DOH!”.  Sorry Tim, looks like Karma.

(Very mug-shot like, think he’s had some practice?)

An Interesting Dream

I dreamt this last night and can’t remember it all.  So I’ve had to fill in the blanks.

I’m somewhere in outer space, countless stars of numerous galaxies is the background to this dream.  I am floating, motionless perhaps, silent and invisibile.  I can neither move from my spot nor make a sound, yet I can hear and see perfectly well.  The lack of oxygen does not seem to be a problem.

I realize I am not alone, in fact I seem to have found myself in the midst of a debate amongst celestial beings.  They are ginormous, with a faint humanoid silhouette.  Galaxies compose their “bodies” shifting constantly in an endless dance.

I sit/float there, unable to do anything, except pay silent witness.  It seems these four beings have come together to discuss the status of their being-ness. 

One is gigantic, largest by far.  His silhouette more than doubles any of the others.  Another appears wispy, as if the universal matter with which it is made of seems ready to fall apart.  Electrical discharges can be seen racing through its interior at random periods.  With each barrage, the entity appears to become agitated and gazes into the nether regions of the universe, as if expecting something or some one.  The third enitity is more like an enigma.  Instead of formed galaxies and spatial bodies within its interior, it is instead composed of what looks like “universal-soup”.  From what I can tell, this being has “potential” and yet seems to have formed nothing.  By my looks, the “soup” looks like it has seen better days.  The raw material looks sick and spoiled.  The forth being seems attentive, turning its “head” towards the others, as if scrutinizing their actions before making one of his.  But as I peer into his being, I realize he is in turmoil.  Gaseous clouds suffuse his interior, roiling and tumultuous.  Yet none of the others appear to be able to see this.  In fact, I realize, none of them can see what I can.  As they converse, I hear but see their true meaning.

It is a weird and fantastical experience.  I wish I could have remembered what was said.  All that I got out of this was that no one was as they appeared to be.  No matter how mighty they may appear to be or wish to seem, they are still susceptible to base doubts and worries.   I realize that I am not alone.  Life throws curve balls, brick walls, flat tires to EVERY ONE.  No one is immune or exempt, we are all targets.  Of course I wish I was the exception, but since I’m not, I at least know I am not the only one.  With this I am warmed.

Funny/Scary Car Commercial

There was this bit of news about a supposed taping of a blue ghost at a Ohio gas station.  I watched the bit and it really does look like there’s something there.  But I’m not gonna stick my neck out and say it is a ghost.  But check it out and see for yourself.

So anyways, it got me thinking about this email I got a few months back.  It was supposed to be about a car commercial, but it turned out to be something else.  I watched it and let’s just say, I won’t be forgetting about it anytime soon. 

My mom and nephew were home today, and I decided to show them the commercial.  My mom didn’t appreciate the vid and really let me know it.  My nephew says he wasn’t sure what he had just seen and wanted to see it again.  After my mom had calmed down, she wanted me to show the vid to my dad.  Strange how something you were just pissed off about a few minutes ago suddenly becomes extremely hilarious and worth pulling off on another person.  Hmmm

Why don’t you check it out for yourself and be sure to turn up the volume and sit real close to the monitor.

Pride and Joy

My nephew.  He’s grown so much and so fast!  Sometimes I wish he’d just slow down, so that we could enjoy his babyhood more.  Now he’s ready to start pre-school.  Wow, how time flies.  Everything I do, all that I accomplish, I do it for him.

               

Just a drive

So I went on another drive today.  The weather was incredibly wet, the rain splattering against my windshield relentlessly.  But I haven’t seen the rain in a very long time, it seems we’ve been having an unusally warm winter.  So I didn’t mind the wind or rain, in fact I welcomed them.

I wasn’t sure where I was heading, only that I was going “somewhere”.  Sometimes the best trips are those that are unplanned.  Today I headed south.  I just kept driving and driving.  I didn’t really care where I was going or where I ended up.  It was very cathartic to just zen out and drive.

I think I ended up somewhere near Monterey.  All I knew was that I was hugging the coast.  I stopped because something about this lonesome spot spoke to me.  I just parked on the side of the road, and just turned off the engine.  I just sat there and watched the ocean, as the surf pounded onto the shore.  I wrapped myself in the blanket I had specifically brought with me, and I just sat and watched. 

I’m not really sure what went through my head.  I know I was thinking about a lot of things.  The craziness and stress I had been going through at work.  The uncertainty of what lies ahead.  The feeling that time is slippling by so fast and the feeling that the world is rushing by and I’m not keeping pace.  It’s strange.  No matter how much I’ve done, how much I’ve accomplished, I still don’t feel like I’ve done enough.  I’m still sub-par, below average.

So I just sat there and let all these pent up feelings flow through me.  I didn’t hold back, whatever I felt or thought, I let it happen.  I remember feeling anxious, angry, sad, fearful, depressed, determined, and empty.  At the end, hours had passed by, and I couldn’t remember anything specific.  But I felt like I had gone through some incredible ordeal.  I felt very tired and drained, and all I did was sit in the car. 

It took a while, but I finally got the car started and headed back home. 

I QUIT!!!!!!

Free at last!!  Free at last!!

(I had wanted to use Martin Luther’s famous line, but I didn’t want to dishonor him by using it. ) 

I QUIT!!  I finally had had enough today and I quit!!  For the past few months, the place I was working at has been going through some rough changes.  The assistant director that used to work there was fired.  And even though it wasn’t my job, I was somehow shanghaid into taking over.  Truth of the matter is, it’s not rocket science.  Running the place is easy, so long as you have good management skills and are consistant.  So I was still able to teach, while “helping out” in running the place.

But the thing is.  That business is already on it’s last leg.  With a director that is way over his head, and a BIATCH of a second in command who has absolutely zero interpersonal skills, the company is dying, and dying fast.  But let me start from the beginning.

So I get an email from this BIATCH awhile back.  It was a bit cryptic, so I wrote back needing some clarification.  It turns out the boss was getting ready to fire the assitant director of the branch I was teaching at, but the assitant director (AD) had no idea yet.  I was told of this because the BIATCH wanted the place to run smoothly when the transaction was made, and so required my help.  Since I had only recently signed on, and not having made any connections with anyone, I went along.  I kept my mouth shut, allowed the firing to occur, and then helped out as best as I could to get the place up and running.

Piece of cake.  Having graduated from college, chiropractic school, and medical school, running a half-assed “business” like this was nothing major.  It was a learn-as-you-go type of deal for me.  It was good for the first few days, and then the BIATCH started to mark her territory.  She wasn’t content with just ruling the other branch, she had already had her eyes set on this branch as well.  So as soon as the AD was fired, in came the BIATCH, making changes like she owned the place.

 Now I wouldn’t have minded, since it’s neither my business nor was I planning on staying there long.  I was just there to teach, collect my check, and go.  Yet as the days went by, I was laden with more and more responsibility.  It came to the point where I was like an interim-AD, but without either the benefits nor the pay.  REALLY annoyed the hell out of me, but I didn’t mind the hours and the office is close by to where I live.  So I kept my mouth shut and bided my time.

The thing is.  This BIATCH has no idea how to get along with others.  The students complained about her, the parents did too, the instructors have threatened to leave, and the staff try to avoid her as much as possible.  It got to the point where the staff at one branch will call the other branch to let them know the BIATCH has left the building and was heading towards the other location.  So yes, it was a real cat-and-mouse situation here.  But without the fun.

So why did I quit today?

Well, I’m the kind of person who gives second chances.  And second chances, and even more second chances.  If I feel that you are actually trying and that for the sake of ie. work, fellow coworkers, dynamics, etc.  I will look the other way and just let it go.  But when I feel that I am being disrespected or being taken advantage of, I will say something and will do something about it.

 Come on people.  I have TWO DOCTORATE degrees!!!!  This BIATCH has a Masters in Education from Canada!!  Like OOOOHHH  I am so scared!!!!!  WTF!!!  I’m too much of a gentleman to have called her on it, but there have been many times when I would have just liked to stuff it back into her face!!

Anyways, she treats people like dirt.  The staff are like her slaves.  She goes around complaining no one understands her and she she acts like she is the biggest martyr in the world.  Oh yeah, she’s very good at taking credit, even if she had nothing to do with it.  But if there’s blame to be portioned out, she’ll blame everyone else but her.  She takes no responsibility for her actions whatsoever.  Even when you have proof she had done it, she still won’t own up.

I’ve tried many ways of trying to get her to see what she’s doing/done.  One time, I wrote an email in the same tone that she uses on us.  She got royally upset.  So I succeeded in that aspect, but she didn’t understand that I was using the same formula that she was using on us.  She just thought I was being rude to her.  So what does she do?  She runs to the boss.  So I ended up talking to the guy, but he understood exactly what I was doing.  He actually agreed with me, yet he still sided with her.  What a pu$$y!!

And today I had had enough.

There was something wrong with the scheduling.  The two of them have decided to start up another class, and the two of them were going to be the instructors.  But because it was so new and the class hours so late in the day, some of the parents wanted to reschedule.  Now I don’t have the power to reschedule a class.  I can ask if there will be one, but I can’t create one.  Why would I want to?  It doesn’t concern me, right?  But I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.  So the BIATCH wanted me to reschedule the class (as documented).  That was a few weeks ago, and after how many changes (without me being made aware of), they somehow had forgotten the reason for the origional change in class.  So I am at work today, and the boss asked me about the make-up class.  I told him exactly how and why it had occurred.  The BIATCH had the nerve to say that she had nothing to do with it, and that I had no right in saying that she was the one who had decided on the make-up class.  Now if it wasn’t the boss, and it wasn’t her, then who?  Let’s see, there are only 2 instructors, and they are the 2 instructors.  The class decisions are made by those 2.  So I wonder WHO could have made the changes?  Hmmmmm???  The Fairy Godmother maybe??

So I was pissed when she wouldn’t take responsibility.  I was being blamed for something I didn’t do, I shouldn’t have been involved with in the first place, and the boss was going to take her side.  Why was I still there?  I kept asking myself that as I went back to my desk.  What a fool I was.  There was absolutely no need for me to take this type of crap from her or from anyone.  Let those 2 figure things out.  Let the staff deal with them.  This was not what I had signed up for origionally, and I was most definitely not being paid more.  So why was I still there?

So when the boss came by to say he was leaving, I told him simply “So am I”.  Wow!!  It felt great.  I truly felt this burden ease off my shoulders.  But you know what annoyed me then?  He didn’t say “Oh, don’t leave, we can work something out.”  A pay raise would have been great.  An “I know it wasn’t you” would have been golden.  Rebuking her and making her own up to her mistake would have been priceless.  But no.  All he said was “could you work a few more days until I could find someone to replace you?”  WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So I said “no”.  I should have said “hell no!!!!!!”

But I was being very professional and mature.  For the rest of the day, I tidied up any loose ends.  I finished my teaching, and I packed up.  When that BIATCH came by and slammed down a note that said “final schedule”, I tossed it aside and told her she can do it herself because I quit.  Hah!!  The look on her face.  She said “you need to tell the boss” and I said “I already did”.   Double Hah!!  In your face!!

It was awesome!!!!!

If I never hear another “you need to…” from that BIATCH again, I would be in heaven.  Listen BIATCH, I don’t “need to do” anything.  You can shove it up yours for all I care.  I’ve given you an inch, you’ve taken a mile.  I looked the other way, and you come back with more.  I’m done, I’m through.  You and that whimpy ass boss can just suck it for all I care. Let’s see just how long this business will last.  Not that I care, but I will definintely be there when it closes.  You’ll know it’s me becuase I’ll be the one cheering!!

 I QUIT!!!!  BIATCH!!!!!!

Love and Relationship

I had planned not to delve into anything too serious or heavy so soon. Not exactly the tone I wanted to set for this new blog. But that’s what this thing is for right? An avenue to “shout out” to the world “quietly”, a form of free psychotherapy, a place to unburden and not worry about “dumping” on others. Still….not really what I had wanted to “talk” about so soon in this blog’s creation.

*Sigh* oh well.

I got a call yesterday, one that I was sorta expecting but hoping that it wouldn’t come. A very good friend of mine that I met back in NYC wanted to continue the conversation we had a while back. I had thought I had made things perfectly clear back then. But I guess a bottle of wine, ok, a couple bottles of it, can blur the night’s conversation. So I spent a few hours speaking to her over the phone, this time, without the aid of alcohol. Damnit! It would have really come in handy too.

I had no idea that this friend of mine could be so aggressive. I don’t mind aggressive women, not at all. I want them on my vball team, I want them to challenge my thoughts and beliefs, I want them to cover my back as I would theirs. But… aggressive women are not the kind I’m looking for in a partner. Maybe it’s because I subconsciously categorize them as “guys”. Femininity is what draws my attention, keeps my interest.

So I must have really missed my mark with her. No, strike that, I knew she was aggressive because we have great fun in competitions and debates. She’ll put me in my place when I’m wrong and I get a great thrill when I trump her. So no, I didn’t miss my mark. I just didn’t peg her as the partner type. Therefore it was a great shock to me when during the previous conversation, the subject became more intense and personal than ever before. In fact (here’s the shocker), she proposed to me.

Now I quickly downplayed the thing, pretending I was too inebriated to fully grasp the conversation. I just joked my way through and called it a night. But I knew that the conversation was not over. Needless-to-say, the next morning was very awkward. Luckily we both had places to go and so didn’t have much time for to rehash the previous night’s ordeal.

The thing is. I’m not ready to settle down yet. I haven’t found the one. I’m not through being single and selfish. I like having fun. I like being with more than one person, not tied down to any one relationship. I’ve worked too hard and too long to be where I am professionally. I haven’t spent enough time pampering myself yet!! Me! Me! Me!! That’s my motto. Me! Me! Me!!

I thought she knew. Shoot, I tell her just about everything that goes on with my life. So what went through her mind to propose? And in all honesty, it’s not the first time I’ve been proposed to. I’ve had proposals of “if we don’t get married by (enter age), then we’ll get married”, and “I’m at a certain age now, and so let’s get married”, and “You’re so established and stable, so, you’re the one I want”. Umm, yeah. but you’re NOT what I want. I’m stable? Please, if you know me, you’d know, I’m not “stable”. hah! And so you’re a certain age, hey that’s great, but sorry, I’m not going to settle down just because you’re biological clock tells you you should. Those are your eggs. Go find someone else who’s ready to help you hatch them. Me, I’ll keep my little soldiers away from that battlefield!

So now, my friendship with her has truly become VERY awkward. I’ve decided I need to start screening her calls and avoid opening her emails. Just until everything settles down and she’s come to her senses, hopefully. I wasn’t trying to fool her or anyone for that matter. I’ve been very honest with where I stand regarding lifelong relations. It’s not for me, not now, and maybe not ever. So I shouldn’t feel bad right?

And yet, I do. (Scary, scary two words)

Kuo

What can I say about this guy?  Except, he’s a f*#c%’n lucky bastard, and a truly great friend.  I was very fortunate to have gotten to know a very cool bunch of people when I was in NYC.  (I’ll get to talking about them as the days go by).  But Kuo.  He’s truly unique.

First off, he’s tall.  Even for an Asian guy, he’s tall.  I don’t think he’s as tall as Ray (another Asian guy from NYC), but Kuo’s tall.  He’s husky too.  And is losing the battle of the head follicles.  (Trying to be PC and not say the b-word).  Now Kuo’s got a big heart.  Very surprising because from my past experiences with people, the “single-kid syndrome” kids tend to be very selfish.  Not Kuo, I honestly think that if you asked for the shirt off his back, he’d give it to you.

But that’s not why I’m writing about him.

I just got an email from the guy.  He’s been in Singapore for the past month, and already he’s scored big time with the women there.  We often joke around about what a cradle-robber he is/was.  And what a womanizer he could be.  And you’d expect someone who doesn’t fit the typical Asian male stereotype to be awkward in the dating scene.  That/this is totally not Kuo.  He’s very confident with himself.  He’s got an amazing career.  I keep losing track, but I think he’s a VP or Pres of his division at Morgan Stanley or something like that.  For some one who hasn’t even cracked 30, that’s very impressive, by any standards.

Now Kuo loves the rich life.  He’s got the coolest toys, crazy car, and his wardrobe is E-X-pensive!!  I make fun of him alot about his mole that’s in the center of his forehead.  I call it, his “Gandhi Dot”.  But the older geners call it “Buddha Dot”.  Whatever it’s called, I truly feel that it’s his lucky charm.  He just seems to be able to make money.  Have you ever seen him play the lotto, do those scratchers?  I have.  He can literally buy 20 bucks worth of scratchers and make a profit practically every time.  People, I think instead of rubbing those Buddha statues’ stomachs for luck, rub Kuo’s instead.

Damn I’m jealous.  But in a good way.  Because you can’t hate the guy, ’cause he’s truly a good person.  What can I say?  Lucky Bastard!!!!!

Intro

So I guess I’m supposed to start off by introducing myself. But before I do, I just want to say I am doing this under protest…sorta. Ok, I’m not very good with keeping up emails and stuff. There’s too much to do that emailing and calling tends to be pushed further and further behind. For that, I’m sorry.

Ok, what’s going to be in this blog? Um….not sure. I think mainly musings, rants, and what I call “brain candy. What is brain candy? Stuff that you can live without; taken in small quantities is fine, too much will rot your brain. What do I consider brain candy? Ahh, that would be…television shows (I can’t seem to get enough of reality tv), novels (as you can see, I did not say medical text books, because that would most definitely not be classified as brain candy), movies (no documentaries, movies that make you think, etc.), crazy news of the world, and so on. Pretty much stuff that’s not important for sustaining life, that’s brain candy.

Why did I call this site “One Eye Open”, because that’s how I feel everyone around the world goes about viewing life. No one is or can truly view the world in an unbiased, truly receptive nature. Everyone’s got their own point of view, hangups, likes and dislikes, which influences their take on the stuff that’s happening around them. So we pretty much make our way through the world with one eye open, the other one closed. The fun comes when we bash ourselves into the proverbial wall, because we’ve lost our depth perception. Could it be, that that would be the only time when we truly have both eyes open? Hmmm…..